The Blame Game and Why We Play It

The core message for self-help and personal development is for people to step up and take responsibility for their own lives.

Why do many people find this challenging? It's because blaming others has been programmed into us by our family and by society. However in the Bible (John 8:7) it says 'Let the person who is without sin cast the first stone', This means that nobody is blameless and therefore it is not qualified to blame others. We need to understand the factors that contribute to people blaming other so as to stop this behaviour

Here are five reasons why people are being led to believe that they don't have to be responsible or accountable for their actions.

1. It starts in childhood.

When parents tell kids what they should and shouldn't do. It seems that people are losing the ability to make decisions because decisions are made for them.

The "why, because I said so" attitude prevents learning of consequences at an internal level. It teaches people to do or don't do things based on what they are told, not on what they think is suitable.

This can occur in workplaces with a dependent culture - you just do what you are told to do, without any explanation, without understanding why.

The "Why" is critical to learning - when you know why you should your shouldn't do things, you are then able to make a sound decision for yourself.

2. Rules and Laws 

Every time an incident happens it promotes a reason to bring in a new rule or regulation to prevent it happening again. Why can't we just learn the lesson and create guidelines so an individual can make a sound decision next time the problem is encountered?!

Rules and regulations place responsibility outside of personal control. Rules can place people in a false sense of security, thinking that the rules will protect them. This makes them less alert for the dangers around them.

3. Lawyers/litigation 

Thanks to the legal system, more and more responsibility is being taken away from the individual. It's too easy to blame someone else for an incident and profit from it. Yes, there may be many contributing factors resulting in an incident, but everyone needs to look within and see how they might have prevented being hurt. Until they do, they have lost the personal power to be in charge of their own life.

4. Someone's to Blame 

Society seems to promote 'blame' and the idea that someone's got to pay! Who has heard ‘where there’s blame there’s a claim’?

Isn't it better to consider how we contributed to an incident occurring and learn from it in order to prevent it happening again?

If the same type of problems keep surfacing in your life, the common denominator is you. Think about it!

5. Ego 

Perhaps it all comes down to this. People don't want to admit they made a mistake. They are embarrassed. It comes from early programming where mistakes were associated with being 'bad', and no-one wants to be 'bad'!

This leads to people passing blame, and then people becoming defensive, arguments arise and we have lost touch with the fact that people do make mistakes. The biggest mistake is not learning from them and making a mistake over and over again because of this.

People need to be okay with making mistakes and admitting to them. This requires cooperation from everyone, providing a safe environment where admitting mistakes is encouraged so as to rectify the mistakes.

And remember, Mayfair Cares.

Deskercise - what is it?

Top Tips for Exercising at Your Office Desk


The Challenge

Many people who spend their time at office desk find that they may either have trouble losing weight, staying in shape, or they may feel as though some of their muscles are tight due to sitting at the desk all the day.


Some businesses actually have a gym membership plan that either goes through their health insurance policy or their business insurance policy. For people who do have gym memberships provided by their company, getting exercise may not be a challenge.

However, for those who don't have this option or simply don't have time, their only time to exercise may be at workplace or at their office desk. There are some simple office desk workouts that you can do right at your desk to help you lose weight, stay in shape, and relax a little while on your job.


People who spend long hours sitting at their desk or in front of a computer may find that after a while it can cause muscle pain and lead to injury.

Shoulder muscles and neck become tense and sometimes painful after sitting a certain way every day. The posture you have at the workplace is the first thing you can try to fix in order to get in shape while at your office desk.

For many office workers, the normal posture while at workplace is having a strained neck, hunched shoulders, and your head is slightly forward.

The posture you should have is sitting up straight to where your shoulders are in line with your hips, and you head and neck are in light with the rest of your body.

Achieve this by making sure your computer screen is eye level so you aren't constantly looking down or up, causing a strain on your neck.

Your thighs should be parallel to the floor, so adjust your office chair to the proper height if it isn’t already.

Some people even choose to sit on an exercise ball instead of a desk chair since it will not only help you maintain the proper posture, but will also give your core a work out from you trying to maintain balance and posture.

Be sure to stretch your body regularly if you sit at your office desk for long hours.

You can do some simple neck rolls. Roll your head down as if you are touching your chin to chest, then tilt your head towards the right then back to the centre, repeat towards the left. You can do these a few times to help loosen the muscles in your neck.

To stretch your shoulders and arms, stretch the arms out, and then bend them at the elbow your hands are touching the top of the shoulders. You can then try to touch your elbows together, and then move them back to the side, repeat about 10 times.

From the same position, with your hands or finger tips touching the top of your shoulders and your elbows pointed out to the side. Proceed to pull your elbows down, then back up till they are parallel with the floor.

Repeat this flapping motion about 10 times.

Stretch your back by grabbing your right arm rest with your left arm, and then twist your body towards the right. Repeat on the left. These stretching exercises should keep muscles loose and relaxed.

Who needs a Gym?!

And remember, Mayfair Cares.



Fitness trackers - do they help and are they worth it?

Most of us are do our best to work hard to keep ourselves fit.

No one denies the fact that being fit is important as our bodies will function more efficiently and effectively with the stresses and strains of today’s lifestyles. Most of us set personal, physical and business goals, but how are we able to track our physical ROI’s and progress?

In this article, we dig deeper to understand what the role of fitness trackers are and how they can impact our physical fitness.

What is a fitness tracker?

A fitness tracker is a wearable device that records the daily physical activities of a person together with other data that fitness related such as heart rate, the number of calories that have been burned and even your temperature.

Do fitness trackers really help??

There are many different fitness trackers that have been designed for different purposes and roles. For instance, some people use it to:

·        Reach the fitness goals they have set

·        Track their sleep

·        Monitor their heart rates

·        Motivating Partner

·        Swimming and Diving

Depending on your budget and purpose, it’s best to buy a fitness tracker that will suit your. 

1) Monitoring heart rates

During your workout sessions, a fitness tracker is best known to collect data and even as you sit down to rest or relax. The tracker will not stop but still continuing to collect data monitoring your heart rate and enabling you to monitor the exercises that are best for you and your heart.

2) Reach fitness goals set

It’s always a good practice when you start by first jotting down the purpose you want your tracker to help with. The purpose could be tracking sleep, losing weight or even bodybuilding. There is a brilliant sense of accomplishment when physical and fitness targets are reached and this will encourage you on to the next goal, and the one after that.

3) Tracking Sleep

Sleep. The scourge of modern day society – how much is enough?

When you are sleeping, or resting, the rate of success in your fitness program is optimized by having a good and quality sleep. This will enable you to adjust your lifestyle accordingly from a position ofknowledge rather than guesswork.

4) Motivating partner

To some, they see a fitness tracker as a strict coach and friend. You can see and be aware of the effectiveness of your efforts during your workout routine as you will be able to view the results of all your activities. You’ll be able to set smarter goals later by the help of this information.

5) Swimming and Diving

Through water resistant fitness trackers, swimmers are able to obtain details of their swimming efficiency and pace as the tracker can record the number of strokes they make as they swim. This helps swimmers monitor their fitness programs too.

Is 10,000 a magic number? 

10,000 being a magic number has been a debate for quite a long time. Some believe it is while others it is not. For instance, the people in Minneapolis believe in the popular goal of walking 10,000 steps a day. According to Heather Brown (CBS Minnesota's ), she reports that the number is not new but is an arbitrary figure.

Stephanie Helgeson who is an exercise physiologist with Allina Health’s Milton M attempts to answer how many steps we should take a day. A target of 10,000 paces per day is roughly equivalent to 5 miles and such a target is aimed at inspiring people to sit less and walk more.

The fitness tracker acts as your activity conscience sitting on your wrist.

In conclusion we believe that fitness trackers are a positive force for monitoring your activity but do buy one that suits your budget then set your personal short, medium and long term goals and make accountable activity a habit in your life. 

And remember, Mayfair cares.