Do you have a healthy relationship with your mobile phone? Are you able to lead completely separate lives and not be inter dependent on one another?!

If you are, then you are one of the rare breed that is not totally reliant on their mobile phone, and will not suffer from Nomophobia when they are parted either by accident or design. However, if you are one of the majority who aren’t, then when you leave that phone at home by mistake you will probably spend the rest of your day fretting and fidgeting – does that describe you?

These days most of us carry our mobiles with us and rarely turn them off. Our phone is often the last thing we look at before we go to sleep and the first thing we check when we wake up. Incoming emails, texts and other notifications constantly disturb us and one study reported that the average user checked their phone at least 85 times a day. Is this describing you?

Our phones can be our main lifeline to family, friends, business colleagues and other networks. However the best human relationships are the face-to-face ones with another person and phones can never replace those meaningful connections.

How many of us have seen couples in a social surroundings, such as a restaurant or pub, sitting across the table from one another but with both of them being on their mobiles, more in touch with Facebook and football than with each other?

Even the very presence of phones seems to prevent deeper and more meaningful conversations. One study has found that people feel less connected to other people in a conversation when a mobile is present. In other words, when it is sitting on the table next to them. People feel that if this phone was to go off the conversation would be cut short and the phone call or message would be far more important.

Constantly checking your phone can easily become a habit, but it is one that you can break.

Do a phone fast:

·       Start with one or two days a week without using certain apps such as Facebook or other social media platforms.

·       Begin and end your day by not looking urgently at your phone. Read a book when you go to bed rather than scan the latest Facebook news.

·       When you’re out eating with friends, family or your partner make sure that everyone's mobiles are out of sight or even better, left at home.

·       Try taking a break from your phone for a certain length of time each day. It is a routine you will learn to enjoy!

Nomophobia Is a real condition we have written about elsewhere so try to bring yourself back into the more social world and experiment doing without your phone for periods of time during the day, week, month, it will be good for you in the long run!

Mayfair we care.

We are rarely very far from our smartphones these days, they are as much a part a necessity everywhere we go as the clothes that we wear! As a result some very bad habits have developed. Some are thoughtless, others downright rude, several are bad for business or relationships and the most serious can be life threatening. In short, the majority of us are not so smart when it comes to mobile phone use. See which categories you fit into:

In the car

If you are the driver it is illegal in many countries to use a mobile phone whilst the car is moving. Checking social media – your emails or texts, as well as texting or talking on the phone unless you have hands-free technology endangers not only your life but the lives of others. It’s irresponsible but so many drivers flout the law.

In staff meetings with colleagues

A recent Intel survey of HR managers said that mobile phones ringing during a meeting were top of the ‘mobile irritation’ league table! Very close was the annoyance caused by having the phone on vibrate – good mobile etiquette recommends silent or off completely.

At sales pitches

Many people will put their mobiles on the table during sales pitches – this is not a great idea! This sends out the wrong signal about how serious you are about being there and first impressions count. Good mobile etiquette is for the phone to be out of sight and on silent and it’s also better for business.

On public transport

Loud and lengthy phone calls on the bus or train are known to be a massive irritant to fellow passengers. Is it really necessary to raise your voice so that everyone can hear about the importance of the deal that is just going through, or what you fancy for dinner that night? Good mobile etiquette would be a quiet brief conversation saying you will ring back when you are somewhere more private.

In restaurants with your partner

How many people have been out for the evening and looked around at tables with couples barely communicating as they gaze at their shiny smartphones and text their friends or catch up on Facebook. If you want to spend quality social time with someone perhaps it would be a better idea to leave that phone at home or in a pocket?

On Holiday

One recent American survey has recorded that we check our phones 80 (yes eighty!) times a day even on holiday! Give yourself, and your travelling companions, friends, family etc a break and leave your phone in the suitcase for use only in emergencies! You don't need it on the beach, by the pool or sightseeing........do you?!

I am probably only scratching at the surface of irritating mobile phone habits here – what are the ones that annoy you – let’s get them all out there!!

Mayfair we care.

You know that anxious feeling you get when you leave your phone at home, or you don’t have it with you? Like you have suddenly lost your association to the world?

Well, contrary to common opinion, it goes beyond just a simple digital itch.

According to research, it might just point out to a new technology-inspired disorder which is influencing your capacity to think. Phone separation anxiety, also called Nomophobia (no-mobile-phobia) is a term that describes a feeling of stress or panic some individuals experience when they are not close to their phones or are unable to use them. It affects adults and teenagers alike. You are even free to participate in an online test to verify if you have it. 

Just recently, Hong Kong researchers have warned that this anxiety is affecting virtually everyone. In their report, they indicate that individuals who use their mobile phones for sharing, storage, and accessing of individual memories tend to suffer the most. 

Amazingly, it has nothing to do with being unable to complete or receive calls. 

What Causes Phone Separation Anxiety? 

1. Viewing our phones as an ‘extension of ourselves’: 

Phones are now so enhanced and so specific to us that they are slowly becoming ‘an extension of ourselves’.

Besides acting as the storage for some of our most meaningful messages and images, they are also a means of accessing multiple websites, services and apps which afford us quick access to materials of significance to us.

As such, we have become so overly dependent on them that we regard them just as carpenters regards their toolbox – as an extension of our very being. 

When we are disconnected from our phones, it is like losing a limb and creates anxiety. 

2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): 

FOMO is a fear that manifests through worries about being out of touch with experiences, conversations, and events happening around your social circle. It inspires a desire to continually remain connected with what others around are engaging in. 

Individuals with FOMO can only resolve this anxiety by going online.

This is manifested by people who are constantly online even when they are at important events, out for the evening or attending family gatherings. 

How to deal with Phone Separation Anxiety:

Regardless of which reason best defines our nomophobia, we ultimately need to recognise the issue and before it gets out of hand completely. Some of the best ways include: 

• Be alert: 

By being conscious of your phones ability to provoke anxiety in you, you can now see the necessity to alter your behaviours. 

• Step away from it: 

According to several studies, such is the distraction that comes with the presence of a phone (even when switched off) that it can hinder a proper face to face conversation. The longer you start spending time away from your phone, the faster your need for it will diminish. 

• Establish genuine expectations with your social partners 

Let your behaviour communicate to your friends that they need not expect your instant responses on social media. As soon as people recognise that you not constantly monitoring your social media, the urgency to reply will diminish. 

Conclusion:

Working to implement any of these few suggestions will ultimately result in almost instant results and begin to make you less reliant on your phone. 

And who knows, you might just find yourself rising up and not thinking any more about where you last left your phone. Wouldn’t it be awesome? 

Mayfair, we care