The core message for self-help and
personal development is for people to step up and take responsibility for their
Why do many people find this challenging?
It's because blaming others has been programmed into us by our family and by
society. However in the Bible (John 8:7) it says 'Let the person who is without
sin cast the first stone', This means that nobody is blameless and therefore it
is not qualified to blame others. We need to understand the factors that
contribute to people blaming other so as to stop this behaviour
Here are five reasons why people are being
led to believe that they don't have to be responsible or accountable for their
1. It starts in childhood.
When parents tell kids what they should
and shouldn't do. It seems that people are losing the ability to make decisions
because decisions are made for them.
The "why, because I said so"
attitude prevents learning of consequences at an internal level. It teaches
people to do or don't do things based on what they are told, not on what they
think is suitable.
This can occur in workplaces with a
dependent culture - you just do what you are told to do, without any explanation,
without understanding why.
The "Why" is critical to
learning - when you know why you should your shouldn't do things, you are then
able to make a sound decision for yourself.
2. Rules and Laws
Every time an incident happens it promotes
a reason to bring in a new rule or regulation to prevent it happening again.
Why can't we just learn the lesson and create guidelines so an individual can
make a sound decision next time the problem is encountered?!
Rules and regulations place responsibility
outside of personal control. Rules can place people in a false sense of
security, thinking that the rules will protect them. This makes them less alert
for the dangers around them.
Thanks to the legal system, more and more
responsibility is being taken away from the individual. It's too easy to blame
someone else for an incident and profit from it. Yes, there may be many
contributing factors resulting in an incident, but everyone needs to look
within and see how they might have prevented being hurt. Until they do, they
have lost the personal power to be in charge of their own life.
4. Someone's to Blame
Society seems to promote 'blame' and the
idea that someone's got to pay! Who has heard ‘where there’s blame there’s a
Isn't it better to consider how we contributed
to an incident occurring and learn from it in order to prevent it happening
If the same type of problems keep
surfacing in your life, the common denominator is you. Think about it!
Perhaps it all comes down to this. People
don't want to admit they made a mistake. They are embarrassed. It comes from
early programming where mistakes were associated with being 'bad', and no-one
wants to be 'bad'!
This leads to people passing blame, and
then people becoming defensive, arguments arise and we have lost touch with the
fact that people do make mistakes. The biggest mistake is not learning from
them and making a mistake over and over again because of this.
People need to be okay with making
mistakes and admitting to them. This requires cooperation from everyone,
providing a safe environment where admitting mistakes is encouraged so as to
rectify the mistakes.
And remember, Mayfair Cares.