Value-adding: Living by What Matters

At this time of year, mention of the word ‘value’ might have you thinking of post-Christmas sales more than your psychological wellbeing, but it is also the perfect time to recommit to your personal values.

Psychologist and author of The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris, describes values as ‘desired qualities of action how you want to behave; how you want to treat yourself, others and the world around you’. Different to goals, values are more about who you want to be rather than what you want to do.

You can think about it as though your values are the map for your life journey, whereas goals are pitstops along the way.


Why define your values?

Research shows that understanding your values and acting in a way that agrees with them helps reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. Setting goals that match up with your values also reduces procrastination, because you are working towards something that is meaningful and important to you. Once you know your values, things like decision-making and goal-setting become easier.

Values-based living helps build meaningful relationships, both within your inner circle as well as the wider community. Overall, your values give you a clear direction and purpose which helps you to build a richer, more fulfilled life.


How do you define your own values?

At the heart of it, values are what matters most to you. Things like being creative, having integrity, or being kind are all values.

It can be hard when you first sit down to think about values to come up with a list without a guide. You will find many value lists online.

Once you have identified your top five values, it is worth thinking about how closely you are living to those values right now. If you find things are not matching up, think about why that is and what you can do to get back on track. Values may shift a little across your life, but your core values will generally be your guideposts as you move through different stages.

Steve Hays, co-founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy shares: ‘Values are like a compass: they help us navigate through the challenges of life’.


5 questions to define your values

Try asking yourself these questions to get started on your values quest:

1. Who do I admire and why?

2. What am I passionate about?

3. When am I at my happiest or most fulfilled?

4. What would I stand up for, even if it was unpopular?

5. How do I want to be remembered by the people I love?

These questions will help you dig deeper on what really matters to you.

The Power of the Pause

How to start your new year with intention

As another year starts, you might be feeling the pressure to come up with a resolution, an intention, a “word of the year”. Your social media feed is likely to be full of gym membership offers or programs promising a “New Year, New You!”.

But how do you decide what is worth giving your time and energy to so that you do not hit March feeling disillusioned and defeated?

One way to cut through the noise is to hit pause and get intentional about what you want for the coming year.

Annual reflection exercises are a chance to practise self-awareness and to set a direction for the year ahead.


How to make your reflection exercise work for you

There are many ways to tackle a reflection exercise, and the most important thing is to find what works for you. That may be journalling, having a conversation with a friend or mentor, mind mapping, or letter writing. We all process information differently, there is no one right structure. What is important is that you set time aside and do it!


To make things simple, consider breaking your life into quadrants: work, relationships, leisure and health. Take the time to outline how you would like to show up in each area of your life, then for each of these domains reflect on:

1. The challenges you faced last year.

2. The wins you had.

3. What you want more of in each area.

4. What you are grateful for.

5. What you need to let go of.

If you see a gap between what you want your life to be like and how you are actually living, think through what obstacles might be getting in the way and what action you can take to close that gap.

Using this information, set a simple intention for each life zone that will provide guidance for your year ahead.

Done well, reflection exercises help you get clear on your values and your personal circumstances so you can set intentions for the year ahead that are meaningful to you.