Do you find yourself dreaming of a circuit breaker? A
tropical holiday, a silent retreat, a hike through pristine wilderness?
Anything to chase that elusive feeling of happiness and joy?
Dreams are lovely but often feel out of reach, or come
around too rarely to sustain your joy levels. How then can you help yourself
out of the ‘rut of doom’ you find yourself in? Experts suggest the answer might
be in becoming conscious of the small moments of joy that exist in everyday
life.
Joy is a tricky thing to define. It is often fleeting and is
different for every person. Some consider joy to lie somewhere between
happiness and ecstasy. Others say joy is a sense of wellbeing, of hope.
Joy is closely linked to the things that are important to
us. For some, joy can be found in the feeling of the sun on their back on a
winter’s day. It might be comfortable socks, the first bite of a peach, the
opening notes of our favourite song. Joy might be walking in nature, patting a
dog, the soft curl of a child’s hand reacting into your own.
What all these different experiences have in common is that
they are often the quiet moments in your day that get missed when you are
worried or rushing.
Author and mental health expert, Robyn Haney Dafoe, writes
in Psychology Today, ‘Cultivating joy is a (re)learning how to foster a
feeling of ease and a sense of hope, even when things might still be
uncertain.’
This reminds us that bringing joy into our life is not about
creating big moments, it is about finding joy where it already is. Becoming joy
detectives.
Focusing on joy does not mean you deny things that are hard
in your world. But it opens you up to see that both can exist at the same time,
that there is room for joy in your life. Over time, your brain will more
naturally tune into joyous moments, allowing you to experience happiness and
hope more often across more of your day.
Another reason joy feels so good is that it brings energy
and connection. Oxford University philosopher and leading joy researcher
Matthew Johnson wrote in the Journal of Positive Psychology, ‘joy… is
energising, joy is motivating’. He also describes joy as ‘a gathering emotion’.
Harnessing that shared positive energy can help you keep going, even when
things feel hard.
So perhaps rather than waiting for a grand expensive
holiday, start now. Start small, start simple, look for the moments that bring
an exhale, a drop of your shoulders, the ‘eye sparkle’ smile, the warm lift to
your heart. Find the joy that is already there, waiting for you!
Finding joy
Try these tips to add more joy to your daily routine.
1. Get curious and creative.
It may be a while since you have thought about what makes
you feel joyous. Instead of feeling daunted, get curious and creative! Try
listening to different types of music, going for a walk, do a taste test of
different foods to see what brings that smile to your face. Focus on the fun in
the small things.
2. Do more of what feels good
Once you know what brings you joy, do more of it and give
yourself time to savour the experience.
3. Think gratitude
Yale-Professor Laurie Santos teaches that joy is connected
to appreciating particular things. Remembering to ‘count your blessings’ helps
focus on the good things in your life that brings joy.
4. Be mindful
Slow down, connect to the moment, and adjust your
expectations around what joy is. If you are only looking for grand moments, you
will miss all those beautiful tiny daily bits of joy life gives you.