An apology is a gesture that means you take responsibility for something you did, but do we always apologise and mean it?

They say that “love means never having to say that you are sorry “. Well we all know that isn’t true!

In fact, apologising is a way to get a get to a better place in a relationship and when we apologise it should come from the heart and be unconditional. Do you always say sorry as though you mean it?

Do you sometimes say sorry but don’t hold yourself accountable?

If you were in the wrong but you don’t hold yourself accountable, then this isn’t really an apology. You need to acknowledge that you understand why your actions or words were wrong and upsetting. 

Do you sometimes say sorry, then make an excuse to justify your actions?

“Sorry but I am under pressure due to deadlines at work” or some equally lame excuse undermines the sincerity of your apology and, once again, indicates that you’re not taking full responsibility for your actions. 

Do you sometimes so sorry but blame the other person?

 “Sorry but if you hadn’t done XXX, I wouldn’t have done YYY” is not a good approach! Once again you are ruining an apology by saying to someone that it was their action rather than your reaction that caused the problem. Please think twice before doing this because this can actually make a bad situation even worse.

Do you sometimes say sorry if?

“If I hurt you then I’m sorry”. This grudging apology completely wipes out any positive effect your apology may intend because you are introducing an element of uncertainty into the situation and although you may think you are being sincere, it will not come over that way.

Best practice.

Good luck!

Mayfair, we care.

In May 2019 we wrote about perfectionism and being a perfectionist. In this article we examine how social media has changed the way we look at others and how we judge ourselves.

The rise of social media networks such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter has led to various notable changes in our daily lives. And that includes the way we communicate, the opinions we hold of others and the use of technology.

If you take time to look around you, even as you walk down the streets or at any social gathering, you will notice that almost 80% of individuals are often glued to their mobile phones or at least securely holding one in their hand.

That's the true picture of how social media and the perfectionist syndrome is taking a toll on us. And it's for this reason that various society experts are getting worried about the effects of social media networks on our lives. But how serious is this and what's the main reasons behind it? Keep reading to learn more! 

The Rise Of The Perfectionists 

A simple scroll through major social media platforms will instantly reveal that almost everyone is leading their best life. It feels like a virtual competition where everyone wants to be noticed.

A scramble for likes, views, comments, and following defines the life of a heavy social media user.  But is this really what their developers had in mind in the first place? Of course not!

It was meant to be a place for fun. To meet new people, explore opportunities and get a glimpse of the world out there. But users are now taking it too seriously and it's slowly transforming into a place of "survival for the fittest". And as this happens, we as a society are slowly losing focus and falling right into the traps of the social media and the perfectionist theme. 

If you examine carefully, you will notice that most individuals are addicted to their social media or virtual lives. And as much as most of them aren't living their best lives in real life, they do in their virtual worlds and that's where the problem begins.

They can readily go to any extreme to ensure they maintain their social media looks. And that includes borrowing money to purchase/ hire that expensive stuff they keep flaunting on their accounts, go for "trips" or host parties without any trace of shame or guilt.  

While that might not seem like a big issue, the major problem starts when one gets so much into it that they can't simply seem to come into terms with their reality and start chasing unrealistic fantasies. Perfect lives spent with perfect families with perfect friends in a perfect world just isn’t reality but the knock on effect can be serious.

This is when the perfectionists start suffering from various mental issues to the extent of wanting to manipulate the present to compeer with contemporaries for what's not even there in the first place.

Most of them go into depression, experience frustrations and throw around tantrums when they can't keep up with the game. And then there are people that follow others silently and want to emulate whatever their social media "role models" post without critical analysis.

Unknown to them, the posters don't even adhere to what they post on their timelines. Woe unto you if you believe it! 

Take Away 

Everything in life has two sides; the good and the bad. So as much as social media use is great for our social life, we shouldn't turn a blind eye to the rising trend of the social media perfectionist.

What people post is mostly far from reality. That "perfect" photo or video has a story behind it, so before you stress yourself by joining the game, please be aware of the line between reality and fantasy.

Draw it, lest you find yourself deep into the social media perfectionist pit that will only drain you.

Mayfair, we care

We love the Summer and those sunny days, but sunshine and heat is a double-edged sword. We need it because vitamin D is important to us, but too much of it and we risk skin cancer. 

So, what are the facts?

Why does this happen?

How much sunshine do we need?

Some research indicates that a even just a few minutes of sunshine in the mid-morning or the mid-afternoon can be enough. This should not be beyond the majority of us but we are warned not to spend too much time in a hot midday sun.

It’s more difficult when winter arrives however because we tend to dress for the cold weather and very little skin is exposed even to a winter sun, so dependent upon where you live, the winter some may be too weak to make sufficient vitamin D.

Vitamin D all year round.

In winter it is good to expose your arms or lower legs for between seven and 40 minutes and the darker your skin, or the further away from the equator that you live from the equator, the more exposure you will need during the winter months in order to maintain adequate vitamin D levels.

If you feel you are not getting sufficient vitamin D then certain foods can help. Oily fish such as salmon, mackerel and sardines can help, as well as red meat and eggs. A further source of vitamin D can be found in dietary supplement supplements which are available from most chemists.

We hope this information has been helpful, and now that the summer is here please take care and don’t forget the sunscreen regardless of your skin type. 

Remember, Mayfair we care. 

Research indicates that happiness depends on having meaning and connection in our lives but how do we get this? We are off for a few ideas as to how to achieve this.

What is your life’s purpose?

Part of the problem is that very few of us ever can fully answer this question. We are on this earth for an unknown period of time and during that time we do some things that are important, and some things that are important.

Please note that it is the important things that we believe give our lives meaning and happiness. This can be true, but sometimes the little things will contribute in a disproportionate way as well.

Make a difference

Perhaps instead of asking what life’s purpose is, we should be saying to ourselves what can we do with our lives what is important and can make a difference.

Importance can mean different things to different people. It can mean going into politics, or campaigning for climate change; or it can be something as straightforward as coaching juniors at the local sports club or giving your time to a local charity or community group.

You see, it does not have to be related to the work that you do, it can be a pastime, a particular interest or volunteering with a local club or charity which gives you the most pleasure and a sense of wellbeing because you feel you are giving something back to the community.

Simple kindnesses

As far as work is concerned, please remember that many of us do not work in the job of our dreams. That is something which is reserved for the lucky few.

For the rest of us we can achieve fulfillment by perhaps helping a colleague who might be struggling at work or carrying out simple kindnesses such as calling in to say hello and have a chat with an elderly neighbour or giving someone a simple, unexpected gift.

Try saying thank you to a shop assistant and meaning it; or complimenting somebody on their appearance or congratulating them for something they have achieved.

The list of small kindnesses such as this is endless and can make such a difference both to you, having shown this kindness, as well as to the recipient for having received it  - they may be having a bad day and can suddenly feel 10 feet tall!

Become a kind person that makes a difference and be a happier one. That’s got to be a good purpose in life.

Remember, Mayfair cares

Are you one of life‘s perfectionist?

·       Consider yourself a perfectionist if:

·       You can’t stop thinking about every little mistake you make.

·       You can’t stand being second in anything you do.

·       Any project that you undertake must be absolutely right.

·       You expect the highest standards of other people.

·       You will never ask for help because you feel it is a sign of weakness.

·       You will persist with a task long after other people would have considered the task complete.

·       You are a fault-finding who corrects other people when they are wrong.

·       You are highly aware of other people’s demands and expectations.

·       You are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people and dwell on it afterwards.

Perfectionists will also have a keen eye for detail and push themselves to achieve personal goals, their work will exceed expectations and their ambitions will know no bounds.

Research has indicated that perfectionism can be linked to emotional, physical and relationship problems including anxiety, depression, eating disorders and marital discord.

What people think about perfection

Many perfectionist traits are also linked to successful high achievers due to their high standards and high expectations. Highly successful actress Gwyneth Paltrow is one such perfectionist who has also suffered marital and relationship discord.

However, the strive for perfection has brought about much debate over the years. Consider these three very different outlooks:

·       “Perfection is the enemy of success. “ Winston Churchill.

·       “When you aim for perfection you discover that it is a moving target. “ Geoffrey F Fisher

·       “Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralising”. Harriet Bralker

Each of these quotations indicates that true perfection does not exist.

In the first one Churchill believes that time will be wasted by striving for perfection, whilst in the second quotation Fisher suggests that perfection is always just out of reach.

The final quotation by Bralker confirms this by suggesting that the pursuit of absolute perfection is demoralising, (perhaps because it is unattainable) and excellence should be good enough.

As indicated earlier, striving for perfection which is always just out of reach can cause mental illness. There is wide research that suggests that both perfectionism and mental health issues have been on the increase over the last 20 years. This has coincided with the rise of social media where everyone lives out their perfect lives, with their perfect families and their perfect careers in their own perfect world.

Such access to these social media examples put enormous pressure on the individual with perfectionist tendencies and we will examine this in a future blog

Remember, Mayfair cares

Being under pressure at work can be stressful. You have too much to do and you don’t have enough time.

Learning the difference between urgent and important is vital if you are to become more productive.

If you are one of the many thousands of us who constantly check your emails, immediately respond to every query from colleagues, clients and even friends then you can’t be concentrating on those things that are important. If something is so urgent, wouldn’t your colleague, client or friend have picked up the phone?

Right! So, we now know the emails can wait a while until the important jobs are out of the way. Some people have been known to put an out of office message saying that ‘I will next be checking my emails at 4pm this afternoon, if your email is urgent, please ring me.’ Would that work for you?

Equally, are you one of the many thousands of us who write a ‘to-do’ list every day and then pick off the ten easy ones only to wonder what you’ve really achieved – with the important stuff still outstanding?

The difference between urgent and important.

Urgent tasks:

There is demand for your immediate attention all the time – daily deadlines, answering phone calls and important texts, emails from your boss, emails from your best clients, social media messages needing a reply. All of these feel important but often some are not.

We are drawn to these tasks because they make us feel wanted and important; people want a reply from us but do they need that reply right now?.

Important tasks:

These can be less dramatic with no alarms or drama like urgent tasks. It’s easy to ignore them. But rather than someone else’s goals, important tasks contribute to your long-term goals whether these are professional or personal and could include hitting those sales figures, completing that project, getting more financially secure, and advancing your career.

If that seems like an easy distinction we’re often quick to confuse the two. If you are checking your email so often but it’s preventing you from getting in the actual work done you mistaking urgency for importance.

What you can do.

As US President Dwight Eisenhower once said – “I have two kinds of problems: the urgent and the important. What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.”

Remember, Mayfair cares

Headaches cause a pulsing sensation or throbbing pain in the head and may be accompanied by other symptoms like vomiting, nausea, or heightened sensitivity to sound and light depending on the severity.  

Causes  

A headache may occur in one location of the head, one side, or on both sides of your head. Depending on what causes them, headaches are classified into: 

1. Primary headaches   A primary headache occurs as a result of a problem with the blood vessels, nerves, and chemicals that set off pain signals in the brain. Primary headaches are not a symptom of any underlying diseases.

Chemical activity in the brain, blood vessels or nerves in the head, and the muscles of the head can play a key role in setting off primary headaches. Some people also have genes that make them more susceptible to primary headaches. Primary headaches can also be caused by lifestyle patterns such as stress, skipping meals, poor posture, sleeping habits, among others.   The most common types of primary headaches are migraines, tension headaches, and cluster headaches.   

2. Secondary headaches   These are headaches that arise as a symptom of an underlying illness that can activate nerves in the head. Such illnesses include brain tumors, blood clots, glaucoma, dehydration, concussion, stroke, influenza, among many others.   

Types of headaches  

1. Tension headaches   These are the most common and can either be episodic or chronic. Tension headaches normally start gradually in the middle of the day and can last anywhere from a few hours up to several days. Tension headache feel like a constant, dull ache coming from both sides of your head and spreading to or from the neck.   

2. Migraines   This is probably the worst kind of headache. Migraines cause a severe pulsating, throbbing pain on one side of your head. Such pain may be accompanied by light-headedness, nausea, blurred vision, or sensory disturbances referred to as auras. Migraines can last a few hours or even go on for 2-3 days. Migraines are one of the common reasons for sick leaves.  

3. Cluster headaches    These are severe, one-sided headaches that last between 15 minutes and 3 hours. They may occur once suddenly per day or up to eight times each day for a period of weeks or longer. Cluster headaches are often described as a sharp, burning pain that typically affects the area around one eye.   

4. Rebound headaches   These arise as a result of excessive use of medication in an effort to treat headache symptoms.   

5. Thunderclap Headaches   These are severe, sudden headaches that result in unimaginable pain. They reach their maximum intensity in a minute or less and last longer than 5 minutes. They are usually as a result of other life-threatening conditions and people who experience them should seek medical attention immediately.   

Treatment of headaches  

There are many ways to deal with headaches. The most common way is by resting until the headache is gone or taking pain relief medication for quicker results. You can get such medication over the counter or from a doctor but you must always follow the instructions to avoid rebound headaches or worse complications.   

Alternative treatments 

There are other ways to treat headaches, but you need to first consult your doctor before trying them. They include:  a) acupuncture   b) nutritional and herbal health products   c) cognitive behavioural therapy   d) hypnosis  e) meditation.

Summary

Headaches can be both worrying and debilitating but there are remedies available and we would always recommend that you refer to your doctor if they persist or you have any concerns at all.

Mayfair, we care

We are rarely very far from our smartphones these days, they are as much a part a necessity everywhere we go as the clothes that we wear! As a result some very bad habits have developed. Some are thoughtless, others downright rude, several are bad for business or relationships and the most serious can be life threatening. In short, the majority of us are not so smart when it comes to mobile phone use. See which categories you fit into:

In the car

If you are the driver it is illegal in many countries to use a mobile phone whilst the car is moving. Checking social media – your emails or texts, as well as texting or talking on the phone unless you have hands-free technology endangers not only your life but the lives of others. It’s irresponsible but so many drivers flout the law.

In staff meetings with colleagues

A recent Intel survey of HR managers said that mobile phones ringing during a meeting were top of the ‘mobile irritation’ league table! Very close was the annoyance caused by having the phone on vibrate – good mobile etiquette recommends silent or off completely.

At sales pitches

Many people will put their mobiles on the table during sales pitches – this is not a great idea! This sends out the wrong signal about how serious you are about being there and first impressions count. Good mobile etiquette is for the phone to be out of sight and on silent and it’s also better for business.

On public transport

Loud and lengthy phone calls on the bus or train are known to be a massive irritant to fellow passengers. Is it really necessary to raise your voice so that everyone can hear about the importance of the deal that is just going through, or what you fancy for dinner that night? Good mobile etiquette would be a quiet brief conversation saying you will ring back when you are somewhere more private.

In restaurants with your partner

How many people have been out for the evening and looked around at tables with couples barely communicating as they gaze at their shiny smartphones and text their friends or catch up on Facebook. If you want to spend quality social time with someone perhaps it would be a better idea to leave that phone at home or in a pocket?

On Holiday

One recent American survey has recorded that we check our phones 80 (yes eighty!) times a day even on holiday! Give yourself, and your travelling companions, friends, family etc a break and leave your phone in the suitcase for use only in emergencies! You don't need it on the beach, by the pool or sightseeing........do you?!

I am probably only scratching at the surface of irritating mobile phone habits here – what are the ones that annoy you – let’s get them all out there!!

Mayfair we care.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has announced a number of issues that will demand its attention during the course of this year. Many will not come as a surprise to readers but others might.

Air-pollution and climate change.

9/10 people breath in polluted air every day and air-pollution Is considered by WHO as the greatest environmental risk to health. Encouraging world leaders to take the climate change issue seriously when self-interest is also an issue continues to be a challenge.

Non-communicable diseases.

These are responsible for over 70% of all deaths worldwide and include illnesses such as diabetes, cancer and heart disease. Over 85% of these premature deaths are in the low to middle income countries and the rise of these diseases has been driven by five major risk factors. These are tobacco, sedentary lifestyle, alcohol, diet and pollution. All of which have been highlighted on this blog and we will continue to do so.

Global flu pandemic.

Every year the world faces a flu pandemic. We don’t know when or where it will hit but we know that it will hit hard somewhere in the world. Flu vaccines are constantly being developed to protect people from seasonal flu because there are many different strains, and combinations of flu strains and research is an ongoing need.

Fragile and vulnerable settings.

Many of the poorest countries in the world will suffer drought, famine, conflict, and population displacement. They have weak health services which leave them without access to basic care. WHO continue to be active in these areas.

Antimicrobial resistance.

The overuse of antibiotics in both people and animals – especially those used for food production, is creating drug resistance within the population. Taken to its extreme, the inability to prevent infections could seriously compromise surgery as well as procedures such as chemotherapy.

Ebola and other threats.

Ebola continues to be a threat and 2018 saw two separate outbreaks. WHO has designated 2019 as a “year of action on preparing this for health emergencies“.

Weak primary healthcare.

Primary healthcare is usually the first point of contact people have with the health care system and ideally should provide comprehensive affordable community-based care throughout life.

Many countries do not have such adequate primary healthcare facilities and WHO will work with partners to strengthen primary healthcare in such countries during 2019.

Vaccine hesitancy.

Vaccination is one of the most cost-effective ways of avoiding disease and it currently prevents between 2m and 3m deaths a year. However, measles has seen a 30% increase in cases globally due to vaccine hesitancy which, if such attitudes develop, could see the return of diseases that were long thought to be under control.

These 8 issues will keep a very busy and important organisation occupied in 2019 directing and coordinating health work where it is most needed on an international stage.

Mayfair, we care.

Source:

https://www.who.int/about

As the famous saying goes, there's nothing to fear but fear itself. However, while this may have applied many decades ago, it is quite a different case in the modern age.

People now have all sorts of fears and phobias that range from the weird to outright crazy. The following are some of the common 21st-century fears:  

Nomophobia 

This is the fear of being without your smartphone or being unable to use it for reasons such as low battery or poor signal strength. Most people today spend most of their awake time looking at their phones scrolling through posts on social media and replying to texts. While phones are a great invention, they have created a world where people cannot imagine life without mobile phones.  

Cyberathazagoraphobia 

This is the fear of forgetting a password. Given the hundreds of passwords we're forced to remember, a growing number of people are feeling phobic about forgetting an important password.

Luckily, they have made it considerably easy to remember passwords and recover them when lost. But still, there's always the chance that you lose one forever.   

Editiovultaphobia 

This is the fear of Facebook. Facebook is the largest and one of the oldest social media platforms with over 2 billion worldwide monthly users. However, there are a small fraction of people who are afraid of Facebook and will never risk opening an account or even opening the website.   

Methylchloroisothiazolinonephobia 

This is the irrational fear of texting. According to a study by Experian, the average 18 - 24-year-old smartphone owner sends more than 2,000 texts and receives about 1,800 texts. Looking at these statistics, it's clear why texting can become so overwhelming for some people to the point that they fear it.

Agmenophobia 

This is the fear of joining the slowest line. We've all been there; you go to the store, banking hall, or DMV and find a bunch of queues leading up to the service you seek. They may look the same but deep down you know one of them will be the slowest one. Some people really fear that.   

Allodoxaphobia 

This is the fear of opinions. In our modern world of social media, it's easy for people to share their opinions about various aspects about your life especially if you are one of those people who share everything about their lives on social media. Some of the opinions expressed may not be too kind, and some people are afraid of such opinions.   

Hodophobia 

This is the fear of travel, particularly in the modern means of travel such as autonomous vehicles. The fear of riding in modern vehicles is called amaxophobia or Ochophobia. A lot of people are also afraid of flying especially with recent reports of modern Boeing airplanes taking a nosedive recently. This fear of flying is called pteromerhanophobia or aerophobia.   

There are many more fears people keep coming up with, but if you want to live a happy life, you can't let such fears weigh you down or prevent you from having fun.

So tell us, what weird fear do you have?

Remember. Mayfair, we care.