How To Handle a Chatty Co-Worker

Chatting to colleagues at work is one of the things we’ve missed most while working from home during COVID-19. But how do you respond when a workmate talks too much?

Those small conversations you have with your workmates can be powerful interactions. Casual talk about your life, what you’re doing at the weekend, and even discussing work politics builds rapport and nurtures budding friendships.

As valuable as those conversations can be, sometimes you need to let a co-worker know that they are chatting too much and you need to get on with work. How do you do this without causing offence?

“When you have an incessant talker, you have two options,” says author and workplace advice columnist Alison Green.

“You can deal with it on a case-by-case basis as it happens, or have a big picture conversation about your need for more space to focus. The second option will probably feel more awkward in the moment, but it tends to be less exhausting in the long run.


But if you’re not ready for that – and it’s fine if you’re not – then the approach to try first is being more assertive about setting boundaries in the moment.”

Green advises saying things like:

  • “Sorry, I’m swamped today and can’t really chat!”
  • “I’d better get back to this X project, I’ve got a ton of work to do.”
  • “I’m glad your weekend was good! I can’t talk much today, got to finish up X.”
  • “Sorry to cut you off – I’ve got to get back to this.”

 

Liz Fosslien, co-author of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Feelings at Work suggests a similar approach: “A great way to frame the problem is to make it about either a) your need for heads-down time to focus on and finish important work, or b) your need for more alone time,” she explains.

Fosslien also suggests setting a time in the future when you’re likely to be available and more in the mood to chat. “You can offer an alternative time to talk by adding, ‘Maybe we can grab coffee together tomorrow morning?”

If chattiness is becoming a frequent problem, it might be necessary to have a more direct conversation about it, uncomfortable as this may be. Green suggests saying: “I want to let you know that I’m trying to focus better during the day so I probably won’t be able to chat as much as we used to.”

Once you’ve said that, you’ll likely find it easier to be direct in the future.

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