We have all been there. What seems like banter, or fun and games to one person
could be quite hurtful to another. How do you know if boundaries are being
crossed in your workplace?
Commenting on how much and what you eat, prying questions about your private
life, comments on your appearance, culturally inappropriate remarks or slightly
smutty jokes can all leave co-workers with feelings of discomfort, resentment,
or guilt.
If that’s happening in your workplace then it’s time to set boundaries.
This doesn’t have to be difficult and it
is natural to be concerned about how speaking up could affect your workplace
relationships. However, tolerating behaviour that leaves you feeling uncomfortable
and stressed is detrimental to your health. In such circumstances boundaries need to be set of their designed to
protect you, and not to make things even harder between you and your colleagues,
but the secret is to implement change in a subtle but effective way, and here
is what you need to know.
Don’t go on the attack
The chances are that the person who made the remark didn’t mean to offend and
most of the time that person will be mortified that they have caused offence.
They are thoughtless rather than malicious but that doesn’t mean you have to
put up with it.
Approach the situation in a way that shows that you’re aware the person didn’t
mean to offend and reassure them that we all say things without thinking,
sometimes it would be nice to eat together without having to discuss the
contents of your lunchbox or what you are wearing and your private life.
Smutty jokes or culturally inappropriate remarks may seem amusing to some but
can leave others feeling resentful. This creates a negative atmosphere amongst
colleagues and boundary setting can prove to be a very positive step.
Even if you believe that some of your colleagues are sexist or racist, labeling
them as such can lead to very defensive behaviour especially if they’re acting
out of ignorance more than anything else. So instead of making accusations, first
try explaining how the comment makes you feel – uncomfortable, resentful or
just plain intimidated! The offender is less likely to become defensive and
more likely to appreciate how and why their careless comments became stressful
for those involved.
Remember, Mayfair, we care.