An
apology is a gesture that means you take responsibility for something you did, but
do we always apologise and mean it?
They
say that “love means never having to say that you are sorry “. Well
we all know that isn’t true!
In
fact, apologising is a way to get a get to a better place in a relationship and
when we apologise it should come from the heart and be unconditional. Do you
always say sorry as though you mean it?
Do
you sometimes say sorry but don’t hold yourself accountable?
If
you were in the wrong but you don’t hold yourself accountable, then this isn’t
really an apology. You need to acknowledge that you understand why your actions
or words were wrong and upsetting.
Do
you sometimes say sorry, then make an excuse to justify your actions?
“Sorry
but I am under pressure due to deadlines at work” or some equally lame excuse
undermines the sincerity of your apology and, once again, indicates that you’re
not taking full responsibility for your actions.
Do
you sometimes so sorry but blame the other person?
“Sorry but if you hadn’t done XXX, I wouldn’t
have done YYY” is not a good approach! Once again you are ruining an apology by
saying to someone that it was their action rather than your reaction that caused
the problem. Please think twice before doing this because this can actually
make a bad situation even worse.
Do you sometimes say sorry if?
“If
I hurt you then I’m sorry”. This grudging apology completely wipes out any positive
effect your apology may intend because you are introducing an element of
uncertainty into the situation and although you may think you are being
sincere, it will not come over that way.
Best practice.
Own
the situation and make the apology heartfelt and unconditional. If you have
done something wrong, then it’s up to you to put it right and a genuine apology
as a good place to start, but don’t make the apology conditional upon outside
influences.
Good
luck!
Mayfair,
we care.